I am not here in Ghana to be each of the children’s best friend or to have everyone love me, although I admit I at times get caught up in thoughts and desires for that. I am here to bring God glory, to be a representative of him in whatever way I can, and to love serve and help the children here in whatever way I can. Lately there has been a couple times where I get caught up thinking the kids don’t care about me, they just want me to take them places, do things for them, give them things, or punish people they feel have wronged them and I struggle to not get frustrated and hurt by that. I find myself thinking “I’ve sacrificed a lot and come a long ways for you why can’t you appreciate me”… well my thoughts aren’t quite that bad, but I do get more annoyed and I am more selfish than I should be.
I was reading a book the other day and it talked about God wanting to be more than just a prayer answerer, and I realized I am no better than any of the kids.
When do I spend the most time praying? When I need something…
When do I feel a need to cry out to him? When I am unhappy and want something to change…
God has done so countless many more things for me than I have a clue about and yet I don’t bother to spend more than a few minutes in the mornings with him.God loves us deeply and desires our time, our fellowship, our love and devotion, and so often I only really seek him or turn to him when things aren’t going how I want them to and I want them to change. Luckily he never gives up, gets frustrated, or says “I’m done, I need a break, you guys are just using me for your own selfish desires.” He keeps on loving and waiting for us.
I don’t want to just get my prayers answered, I want to get to know the Lord!
